We Had The Same Feet...

It was in my mind that I could see her right there laying on the ground with red corduroy pants on and a light and dark blue long sleeve shirt. She was very familiar, I knew her.

She was laying of her side on top of shag carpet that I recognized from the house I grew up in. Her head was on a big pillow and her legs crossed over one another with one foot out in front of her.

As I continued my meditation I started to create an oval dome of light around her starting from the floor by going around and around with the light until it formed a dome. When the dome of light enclosed her it got brighter and flooded my mind with light and brought me back to where I physically was on a field at a farm.

I could hear chimes and a faint sound of a gong vibrating a humming sound that brought a wave of calmness to me. The setting sun was flickering between the leaves of the nearby trees causing the light to dance upon my face. I could still see the light flickering across my closed eyes. It was a beautiful moment and I felt someone had walked in front of me and I wasn’t wrong…

I had company on my blanket on the field...she was there. Yes the little girl that I had covered in the light was on my blanket laying next to me. I was sitting up looking at her as her eyes were looking back at mine. As I think back on the experience I didn’t hear her voice but we absolutely spoke to each other.

As we looked at each other, she noticed my hair was gray and I let her know it’s going to be a struggle in the future for her and to not fight it. I told her not to stress on it when she gets to that stage of life.

She almost seemed to not pay attention or not be interested in what I had said. Probably for the best since she will work through that stage just like I did.

She went on to tell me it looked like a fairies hair which made me smile. It’s so strange to think that this young girl doesn’t associate gray hair to mean I was old but instead I had hair of a fairy. I am guessing she wasn’t conditioned to those beliefs growing up, she was free to use her imagination and that was amazing.

As I continued to meditate in the field I began moving my ankles around on my stretched out legs to create circulation in my tired feet.

I am not sure if she did the same or was just comparing our feet to each other because at that moment, we nodded at each in acknowledgment that our feet were the same even though mine had seen more years of life. It made us both giggle and acknowledge we have the same feet. I even physically removed my blanket from my other foot and said with a smile “We have the same feet”. We even had the same hair except hers was dark almost black in color and pulled up in pigtails with thick yarn bows dropping down each side of the pigtails.

I was wondering who this was, but honestly had no doubt it was me at about 7 years old. My 7 year old self was here to visit me a few weeks before my 47th birthday.

I had recently done some soul work during the recent full moon in which I released my 7 year old self from carrying any struggles that had continued though the last 40 years. I told her she can excuse herself from those beliefs.

Seeing and feeling what happened brings me so much gratitude, as I feel she no longer carries those burdens.

As my mind brought me back to the field, I looked down and she was gone. For a moment I was caught off guard thinking I didn’t want her to leave. She is a part of me and we just worked through something beautiful together.

But I suddenly heard what sounded like someone jumping or dancing around me on the grass. I thought, of course she was dancing around and as it faded I still felt her presence and could see her dancing and peaking through the tall rows of sunflowers in the field in front of me. I could see her face peak through once in a while signaling to me she is still there. But she is a 7 year old so sitting on the blanket with her eyes closed didn’t make a whole lot of sense when there were rows of flowers that towered above her head to dance through.

I had released her from a burden she carried for almost 40 years so she seemed to want to do nothing but be a playful 7 year old.

As I heard wind chimes during the meditation, I took some deep breaths and opened my eyes.

The sky looked different, I felt different. My whole drive home seemed like I was in a new place.

I noticed the blades of grass, the settling fog and the detailed curves of the road in such a different way. Maybe as a 7 year old would.

As I pulled into my son's work that night to pick him up, I looked down at my feet and knew “she” will always be with me…my inner child. I mean we do have the same feet and she has always been with me but the difference is she is free to be a kid now and excuse herself of any trauma or burdens that was put onto her shoulders.

-A.J.